In the library this week I noticed that the cover story of one of our national magazines is 50 Things You Can Do to Make Your Life Better in 2009. Or something like that. Expecting an in-depth article to go with the headline that took up most of the magazine's cover, I was surprised to find a numbered list that fit on one page. Of course, some of the items on the list brought comments to mind. And a few questions.
#1 Bike to work. I have a 45-minute commute at 45 to 65 mph. I don't think so.
#3 Move to Vermont. I wonder what Indigo Bunting has to say about this.
#6 Get paid for good health. What does that mean?
#10 Add some obstacles to your jog. My what?
#14 Be a microblogger. What's a microblogger? Is that what I'm doing? I kind of like a variation: micrologger. Small person who harvests twigs.
#19 Learn to speak Russian. I'd have to make #20 Find someone to speak it with.
#20 Keep a simple diary. As opposed to a complicated diary? Or as opposed to, throw out a simple diary?
#23 Watch TV free online. And this makes our lives better how?
#24 Unscrew a bottle of wine. And then? And then??
#25 Build your own brand. Of what? Wine?
#28 Stow your money in a safer account. Oh, thanks. In order to move your money out of the stock market, for instance, you'd have to sell the current stock, thereby taking a loss. And if enough people follow this advice and sell, it'll pull the market down even further. Who wrote this list, anyway? And how much did they get paid for it?
#29 Try out your new home for a night. WTF???
#32 Eat your own spinach. As opposed to raiding your neighbor's garden?
#33 Line dry your laundry. Oh, cripes—I've been doing that since 2007, and it hasn't improved my life one iota.
#35 Don't drive distracted. What a concept!
#36 Help others and yourself. That's a tad broad, don't you think?
#37 Swap paper for screens. Why is it that the meaning of so many of these is lost on me?
#40 Try to hypermiledrive. See #37.
#42 Geotag your trip pics. See #37 and #40. But if it's gonna improve my life, I hope someone will explain it to me.
#45 Listen to Kind of Blue. Yes. I can do that. I can do that really well.