Reflection
in a Glass of Wine
at
the End of Another Day
I
haven’t counted—
I
never count—but he arrived
in
the kitchen for supper
seven
times today
between
1:30 and 4:15.
I
gave him notes
(supper
at six o’clock…
shower
at 5:30),
but
they went the way of all notes,
to
be tacked to the wall
of
his barn office, or his door,
his
desk, blending with notes
from
April, from January,
from
last year and the year
before
that, notes instructing him
to
feed the dogs, to refrain
from
feeding the dogs,
to
put out his garbage, notes
reminding
him of my phone numbers,
how
much oats each horse should get,
how
many cats he is feeding,
notes
giving him the dogs’ names,
the
horses’ names,
my
name.
8 comments:
Oh, these recent posts are heart-wrenching. You are the poster woman for resilience.
Hi Susan,
Sad. I can only imagine how hard it is to dwell on those times when Joe was struggling.
I hope you're feeling better physically and that the acupuncture is helping.
Thanks, friends. Helen, because I've been posting this sort of thing recently, and because I still miss Jill acutely after 11 years, and because I still need the occasional "good cry," I wonder just how resilient I really am.
Crystal, I'll have to email you about the acupuncture. My experience gets mixed reviews, but that's not a reflection on acupuncture itself.
Wow. This is amazing, beautiful, rips out my heart. xxxooo.
Oh, I think if you weren't resilient you would have collapsed under the weight of all that grief ages ago. I don't know, but I can't imagine one ever gets over these kinds of things, so continuing to miss someone acutely and needing the occasional good cry sounds very normal to me.
Thank you, Helen. I've taken that to heart.
Beautiful writing, and sad. Thanks for letting us read it.
Thank you, Lali.
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