Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I Win! (a poem)

I Win!

I eat a grapefruit every day.
So does Martha Stewart.

I have blonde hair.
So does Martha Stewart.

I have dogs and cats.
So does Martha Stewart.

I grow flowers and vegetables.
So does Martha Stewart.

Martha Stewart married a Yalie.
So did I.

Martha Stewart needs a new hairdo.
So do I.

Martha Stewart is post-menopausal.
So am I.

Martha Stewart has a net worth of $638,000,000.
I have a granddaughter.


Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

You're right. You win.

Great poem.

crystal said...

Yep :)

Helen said...


Wouldn't it be nice though to have $638,000,000 AND a granddaughter?

Helen said...

PS Is this a recently arrived granddaughter?

PPS You don't look old enough to have a granddaughter. It must be all those soy products.

Jenny Hill said...

Yay! Yes. This is wonderful. So are you.

Susan said...

Thanks, everyone! Quite honestly, I wouldn't want that much money. One or two million would be nice for my financial security. But when you get up at Martha's level you pay a high price. Complete loss of privacy, for one thing. Worries about ruining your children by leaving them too much money, for another. And I really, really, don't want to go through my daily activities with a bodyguard.

Thanks, Helen, but my granddaughter just got her driver's license! She was born when my daughter was just 17, so we got into grandparenting a little earlier than anticipated. But, as Martha would say, it was a good thing.

Indigo Bunting said...

Oh, I love this.

I'm back in town after a trip to New York City and a dinner at the Yale Club Wednesday night.

Susan said...

Did you marry a Yalie, too, IB? No, I'll bet you're the Yalie.

Indigo Bunting said...

Neither (and believe me, if you met me, you'd know). I was attending/working a dinner honoring a famous angler.

Deloney said...

And I of course was the famous angler. It was a fun night. Indigo gave a speach. I remember a bit of it. She said: "In all my years of angling I've never seen fish jump into a basket just because Deloney was holding it. It was remarkable. Actually, it sort of freaked me out, but apparently Deloney is the legendary "Green Man" of legend. All creatures, big and small, come to his hand unafraid. They know he means no harm, and he always lets them go unharmed."

Susan said...

Well, that was certainly an impressivie speech. Not to mention how impressed I am with the talent and compassion of our Deloney. Do you practice on those Greek fish by dangling your line out the window?

Indigo Bunting said...

I am so eloquent. Del, I'm glad you appreciated it!

Anonymous said...

Yipppeeeeee for you! I would not give my two precious granddaughters for all Martha Stewart had, has, or ever will have. Wouldn't want her jail record either, LOL! But I do like all her "stuff" ... fantastic, wonderful poem.

Anonymous said...

I bet you are happier than Martha Stewart also. At least not as greedy! LOL